![]() Kids in this stage are cranking out as much as they can. Play is focused on insecurities and what the child may have done wrong. They do not believe they can trust their feelings. Therapists and parents may be witnesses to the scary events or invited to actively participate in the play itself.Īt this stage of development, children frequently feel inadequate. The play is highly energized or filled with anxiety. Is the world okay? (Birth to 18 months)įor these children, play focus on the unpredictable and scariness of the environment.There is a strong sense of hypo-arousal, or low energy. They mostly stay in one spot and play with only 2-3 toys. These children are often silent and rarely give you eye contact. To better understand, The Synergetic Play Therapy Institute defines the following Developmental Tasks Model: You might have a 17-year-old sitting in your office based on chronological age however, you may be working with a 6-year-old emotionally.Įmotional age can very between overall emotional age, or shift depending on trauma/task. I often hear from my clients’ parents “When they are upset, they act like a toddler.” That’s because emotionally they are.Īt the beginning of each session, the therapist is putting effort into assessing what emotional age the child/adolescent is at. This is often due to lack of emotional care and support when they were infants and/or toddlers. The child can be taught skills to better understand their emotions and/or how to handle them better.īut children with attachment issues generally have a larger gap between emotional age and how old they are. The child may be called immature for their age as a result. This increases and develops and gets more complex just like our cognitive ability.Įven children with more secure attachments can struggle with emotional regulation. So as a therapist I check my clients understanding of emotion to gauge their development in this area. Your child will also exhibit negative behaviors and emotional regression when they feel out of control, which reminds them of their past.Įmotional age is a child’s understanding of emotion and their ability to regulate or handle that emotion. Triggers are moments, experiences, memories, or events that remind them of a part of their prior experiences. ![]() Triggers will send them back to what they experienced in the past. This is done by helping them to regulate their feelings and emotions.Īs your child heals, they will have times of regression. ![]() You’ll see the gap between the two begin to close. These missing skills can be learned when children have the opportunity to practice them repeatedly in a safe environment.Īs your child heals and bonds, their chronological and developmental age will become more equal. While this may sound and feel very discouraging, hope is not lost for these children. You can hold him and rock him to help meet his need at that three-year-old level. Your ten-year-old may exhibit behaviors of a three-year-old, so emotionally you would meet him where he needs it. His emotional state may not be that of a ten-year-old, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give him educational opportunities. Your child may be smart and able to do high level algebra at age ten, so meet him where he is academically. You may have behaviors that range from infantile to age appropriate.Įven though there are gaps between your child’s emotional, mental, physical, and chronological age, you can still meet them where they are in each area. If a child is six years old, you can’t expect their emotional state to be equal to their age. What is often perceived as a conscious choice to act out may be the result of an under-development in the brain that causes an inability to cope with frustration or change.īecause of trauma, or other factors, your child’s age will not determine their abilities in any area. ![]() The size of their brain doesn’t mean the child can’t grow, learn, and excel. It doesn’t mean your child can’t hear you, understand how you feel, or that they aren’t aware of the world around them.Ĭhildren who have experienced trauma display behavioral issues because their brains have not developed fully to the point of other children their age. Bruce Perry and his studies show how significantly smaller the size of the traumatized child’s brain is versus the child who wasn’t traumatized. Understanding that there is often a difference between a child’s chronological and developmental age will help caregivers to have more realistic expectations for the child.ĭr. Their developmental age is the age at which they function emotionally, physically, cognitively, and socially.Ī child may be five years old, but developmentally they may display behaviors that make them seem much younger. It is common for children who have been through traumatic experiences or stressors to display a developmental age different from their chronological age.Ī child’s chronological age is their age based on their date of birth.
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